When you work hard but still don’t feel optimally healthy (part 2)

Part 2: why does being healthy feel so hard? and what will make your journey feel more spacious, simple, & effective?

If you haven’t already, review part 1 for the full story and context.

As with part 1, settle in with a blanket and cup of tea, because now we’re on part 2. Go slow. Take it in. Reflect on what some of this might mean for you.

Let’s journey on .....

The women I work with tend to be weary after having been on long journeys...

And despite the long journeys and even the unfortunate occurrences of gaslighting from various sources (the “it’s all in your head, you’re fine, we can’t find anything wrong with you, just push through it” voices), these women within my integrative coaching practice are never crazy or malingering

These women are clearly suffering and want to get down to the root of the issue so that they feel like themselves again

In listening to their stories, it has become blatantly obvious to me that special attention is needed for their nervous systems - because the body heals best (loses weight, reduces in pain, etc) when it’s in a naturally calm and safe environment vs the reactive, stressful, hyper-stimulating & exhausting environment

Underneath the nervous system support that I knew would be of service to them, I still had a hard time putting to words what I was feeling like what was at the heart of their symptoms

After all, why was it that women 35+ who worked so hard to take care of their bodies still weren’t optimally healthy?

Why did these women - many of whom were in their 40s - still have a hard time losing weight, getting their energy back, eliminating belly bloat, and feeling that sense of balanced vitality that they longed for *despite their huge efforts in* eating perfectly curated diets, attempting to move their bodies well, drinking the green juices, taking the supplements, and going to their PTs/chiropractors/massage therapist/mental health therapists weekly?

I had a hunch that what was going on with these women was something far deeper - and dare I say far more influential - than what any exercise plan, diet change, supplement, bioidentical hormone, or medical provider could provide

My hunch was that in addition to supporting these women in a more feminine approach to tending to their nervous systems, what was also vital was holding space for blocked emotional energy that had been piling up for potentially decades

I considered all the silently carried burdens these women lugged around over the years: the times when they chronically said yes to people because they feared disappointing others or making others uncomfortable, the staying in toxic relationships or work environments for fear of not having their baseline needs met, and the perpetual ‘trying to keep up’ in a modern day world that’s actually creating a lifestyle that our ancient physiology is rejecting in not-so-subtle ways

That’s the stuff that energetically weighs us down and manifests as chronic physical impairment (incl inflammatory conditions, autoimmunity, chronic allergies, etc) even if we have a perfect diet or hit the gym regularly or get regular massages

Put differently, my work with clients is not about processing childhood traumas (that’s the work of a mental health therapist), but rather, our work together is to hold space for what isn’t being said in their daily lives… and why? Why does that fear or hesitation of speaking up exist for them?

And as breakthroughs occur, together we sit and hold the uncomfortable truth with tenderness and compassion so that forward momentum & expansion can occur once again (going from feeling anxious, tired, and contracted to instead feeling free and expansive is a game changer for our body’s systems)

Sure, in my practice, we talk about blood sugar & nervous system regulation and eating well for our individual bodies, but I discovered that holding space for the heavier emotions - like shame, blame, guilt, fear, anger, resentment - that have never been granted the space to be honored was a major player in their weight gain, fatigue, brain fog, gut health issues, and so forth (you may have read the book, The Body Keeps The Score, yah?)

Creating a space that allows women to speak freely, process freely, and redefine their relationship with their bodies/partners/kids/work/etc suddenly became the vehicle they needed for the deeper healing (ie, hormone & cortisol management) that they couldn’t quite put their finger on as to what it was that was missing for them

I’ve seen chronic joint pain, constipation, brain fog, exhaustion, tinnitus, you name it lessen, soften, and eventually subside because these women implement simple yet profound strategies to release these energetic emotional blockages in their bodies (yes, bodies plural > physical, emotional, energetic, and spiritual bodies)

It’s just like feng shui for the body… they begin tapping into their already-present internal healing mechanisms without relying upon anyone else to do the work for them (what a gift!)

They may still call upon their team of providers & support network, but they no longer depend upon them

It’s the difference of co-creating vs co-depending

It’s helping them understand and relearn how to work with their unique feminine intuition so that they no longer feel reliant upon experts ‘out there’ to heal them or fix them and instead they begin to remember a deeper level of inner confidence that’s been there all along but simply was covered up by the myriad of internal & external voices tugging at them and causing confusion

And so the very idea that a woman can heal her own symptoms, restore balance in her hormones, and feel that vitality she once knew not because of some pill or supplement or macronutrient diet or gym routine but because she listened to her intuition, became intimately connected to her nervous system, and could tap into her innate confidence to make brave changes that supported her in feeling loved and safe in her own body again… well… that has rocked my world

And this has been my own personal journey as well

(and holy hell - it’s been an epic transformational journey to say the least in the last 5 years)

But I’m forever grateful to have walked this journey and am feeling more prepared than ever to course through the ebbs & flows of my 40s with greater ease and purpose and with a deeper sense of self love

Most of all, I’m thrilled to be able to share those skills and gifts with other women who feel ready to receive them

In essence, the more I work with women in this intuitive energy healing space that also shares roots with traditional & functional medicine (because there are necessary parts of both), the more I am left in awe of women who are discovering an innate patience and appreciation for healing themselves by sensing what their bodies needs and advocating for themselves from a more grounded place so that they can maintain healthy boundaries, leave toxic jobs or relationships, and craft a sense of spaciousness into their full weeks to allow them to continue developing their self love and spiritual practices in addition to the other traditional health strategies (eg, supporting their bodies with women-specific nutritional support, moving their bodies well, supplements as needed, hormone replacement therapy, etc)

We’re entering the age of expanding our capacity of what might be possible rather than allowing labels, diagnosis, and rigid treatment pathways to define us

Perhaps there’s another way to nourish our minds, bodies, & spirits so that we can be proactive about allowing our bodies space to perform the healing & miracles that they were divinely designed to perform from the beginning?

Every single woman travels a different path without there being a right vs wrong

There can definitely be a sense of more efficient versus less efficient… but not so much right vs wrong

Cheers to your path!